♥Bella♥ asked:


How would you take this?
So I have been very close friends with this guy we will call him “James” for over a year and best friends with his sister (although she and the family do not talk to him because they hate his ex and what he has been doing with his life). We have a lot of times crossed over the friend line and have always felt attracted to each other physically as well as attracted to each other emotionally and share everything with each other. For many reason we never were fully a couple (mostly I couldn’t commit because of family issues and many times he did ask for us to be together). But we pretty much talked every day and would text each other each morning to say hi and have a great day. Well he told me this past weekend about the fact his “ex” of which they have not been together for close to 3 years came to him and asked him to give things another chance between them (she is pregnant with another mans baby and the man wants nothing to do with her or the baby and so she has come back to james). He was confused but said when he kids heard they were so happy and he didn’t want them to hate him if he didn’t give it one last chance. To be honest with you I am happy for him because I know he has been lonely without someone in his life since I have not been able to be the person for him in the full sense.
Anyway after he told me this I didn’t contact him (this was on a Saturday) I sent him an email Tuesday evening and just told him I wish him the best and that he has been such a special person in my life but that I do not want to come in between this chance he has. He called me the next day and we talked – here is what he said to me…how would you take this?

He said “we can still be friends its not like I am going to say okay goodbye Lucy. Of course we can still talk once in a while and we can still text if you want, I mean not loving names like we have before which kind of sucks because I still have feelings for you, not like I can just wipe those away. I don’t have my hopes up when it comes to the relationship with my ex because she has hurt me so much in the past but when I told my boys and to see how happy they were and crying it made me feel so happy inside to see them feel such happiness and to be honest I mean yes my ex was my wife and I do care about her but I mean it’s more than anything about my kids and the guilt i feel” at the beginning when we first got on the phone I said something silly and he said “you are so funny I love you” but like cut off the I love you like he caught himself and didn’t finish like he couldn’t say that anymore…..

I have to say I totally respect him for trying to make things work and be a family I think when you can keep your family together it’s really the best thing for everyone. But it’s so hard for me to have been close to someone for so long and then just all the sudden bam my fear of him getting back with his ex and leaving me behind have come true. How would you take what he said to me is he just being kind and letting me down easy or do you believe he has feelings or that he doesn’t really care if I am still in his life at all? Please don’t think I am trying to be some home-wrecking girl because I am not when we meet he was single and I always knew getting involved with someone with a past could end in hurt but it’s hard for me to sort all my feelings and realize that things are going to change big time and that I know I have to respect that. I am trying to be strong and know that family is first but I am in pain…does he really care or did he ever really love me?