Written by Relationship Psychology
There are many views and perspectives towards relationships. This is what we call Relationship Psychology. To better understand relationship psychology, let us simplify and break down a relationship into three parts: first part – relationship formation; second part – relationship endurance; third part – coping with failed relationships.
For the first part, relationships form when there is interpersonal attraction. We view this as a stage where we get to know the person who we are attracted to. Basically, this is the time when we “gather” information about them and evaluate whether their preferences are compatible to ours. This is a very exciting part! We feel excited all the time, we feel excited and we look forward to spend time with that person. The more we learn about the person, the more it influences our decision whether to deepen our relationship with that person or not. Sometimes, we take farther and sometimes we don’t. Reasons why we do so are so varied.
When we choose to take farther the relationship we have established, we now shift our focus to keeping the relationship strong and ongoing. At this point, we are now very comfortable being with the person we chose to be with. Deep personal and intimate details about ourselves may be given and discussed. Generally, this is viewed as the phase where the partners become more serious about what they feel towards each other. The psychology at this stage of a relationship is that since the partners have become more serious towards each other, a certain sense of loyalty and responsibility develops. Partners tend to be more responsible. They avoid doing something that might offend the other which would in turn be the cause of conflict.
Psychology also tells a partner that he or she should be loyal to his or her partner. Flirting with others is now prohibited. Association to the opposite sex is now limited because of the apprehension that their partner might be jealous. Jealousy is a common cause of break-ups. Since the partner does not want to part with his or her partner, he or she does the best way possible to avoid such a scenario. It is embedded in our minds that break-ups tend to cause emotional pain, which is rightfully so, that’s why partners do the best they can to preserve their relationship.
At some point, misunderstandings and disagreements arise. They may even come to a point that such conflicts become unbearable to the parties involved. This is oftentimes the situation that will lead the relationship into disarray. Psychology of relationships tells us that at this stage, the partners now realize that it is pointless to continue on with the relationship. Reasons could include love and affection has diminished, finding the other partner to be at fault and simply that they find no more enjoyment and excitement at the thought of being together. This is now what we call relationship dissolution. After a relationship dissolves, partners find ways to cope with such development. They do this by forming another relationship, turning their time to other activities or some just stop forming relationships until such time that they feel ready to do so.
