Marriage Guidance

Marriage Guidance

Marriage guidance plays a very crucial role in married life.  The presence of sound marriage guidance will result in a happy and fulfilling marriage.  Its absence will bring the opposite effect.  There are more marriage breakdowns now compared to 20 to 30 years ago.  And, the trends say it is increasing.

What normally happens is that newly married couples are so much in love with each other that everything is wonderful at the start of their marriage.  Then, as the years go by, the level of love and affection seems to diminish and things take a different turn.  Passiveness, competition and a false sense of security may settle in and form a high wall between partners.  As a result, communication breaks down, and what was once a happy and fulfilling marriage now becomes a nightmare, a situation so difficult that each partner wishes he or she had not gotten into it in the first place and wants out.

When does marriage guidance come in?  Is it only to be utilized when the couple is already screaming at each other at the top of their lungs?  Does it come in handy or needed only during bad times?  What about good times, is it not needed as much?  How about, shortly after the wedding day?  Would it be the best time to give guidance and advice?  Should we seek advice only when we are in need of it or is it helpful to seek it even if things are going well?

When in need of sound marriage guidance and advice, it is wise to turn to people who have our best interest in their mind.  These would be, first and foremost our parents, our grandparents, family members and very trusted friends.  It is not wise to seek advice from people we just met at bars or restaurants.  Secondly, we can seek professional help.  We can also learn from other people’s experiences, whether they are uplifting or not.  After all, experience is the best teacher as they say.  We should also remember that marriage needs work.  It is to be nourished and nurtured and built upon day after day.

If we think that marriage is only the wedding day, then we are gravely mistaken.  Lastly, couples should learn to admit that they need help if they need help.  We must remember that our worst enemy is ourselves.  Denying so would only compound the problem.

Personally, marriage guidance is best given in the homes even when the children are still young, where the father and mother are diligently working to show good example to their children.  The parent’s example plays a crucial role in molding the child’s perception of what marriage is at an early age.  The parents should teach what marriage is and what its purpose is and why men and women get married in the first place.  Instilling what is right in the minds of the children regarding marriage will help that child find the right motivations about getting married when he or she becomes an adult.