Marriage Counselling

Marriage Counselling

More and more couples go through marriage counselling to fix their marriages.  As sad as it may seem, this is the reality that societies and nations in the world are facing.  Much has been written about how helpful marriage counseling is and many couples even gave their testimonials how this particular doctor or counsellor has helped them resolve their marriage problems.

Today, I will focus on a different side of marriage counselling.  Counselling that is designed to prevent marriage woes, not fix them.  As the time-old adage says, “an ounce of prevention is better that a pound of cure”.  Think with me for a moment, wouldn’t it be much easier not to go through marriage counselling?  Consider the benefits: less expenses, unnecessary pain and hurt are avoided, trust and love grow stronger instead of weaker, the couples’ time and focus on their children are not set aside, the children’s need for attention is met, the children’s confidence is not shaken, home is as it should be, a place for peace and joy, so on and so forth.

To prevent the discomfort a couple goes through when undergoing counseling, the couple should make sure they know each other very well.  This may sound cliche but this is true.  The reason why this is cliche is because everybody knows it but then, when the time came for them to apply this wonderfully simple yet sound advice, they did not apply it.  Instead, some of them got carried away by their emotions even to the point of thinking that this woman or man is ‘the one’ for me without even taking the time to know their partner.  What happens is that the mistake is repeated over and over again as well as its repercussions.

Another practical way of preventing marriage counseling is that couples should counsel with themselves.  Why not? Isn’t it their life?  Who knows better about their lives than they themselves!  The thing is, our mentality prompts us to seek right away the help of others when something goes wrong.  And that’s what we do.  But, instead of seeking help right away, why not take the time to sit down, relax and talk about what’s going in our married life.  Evaluate!  Where are we now?  Do we really know where were going?  How far or close are we towards our goal?  Do we have a goal to begin with?  The questions can go on and on.

Taking the time to face these questions head on without seeking to find fault with our partner is very helpful in preventing dents in our marriage.  I know for a fact that this concept works.  This is what I and my wife are doing.  We are not perfect but at least we’re doing it and I have found that we have avoided unnecessary arguments and misunderstandings that would have gone out of proportion had we not taken the time to sit and just talk.

The essence of this article is found in this question: “Is undergoing marriage counseling the only way for married couples to fix the marriage problems or is there any other way?  Why not think of the possibility?