Joyce Meyer – You Don’t Have To Feel Confident to Be Confident I (1)

Most of us live by values. Our relationship is also based on shared values that are dear to both the partners. What are the values you live by? They may be- Honesty, speaking truth, helping others, understanding others, caring for others, being compassionate and such other values that you may be sharing with your partner.

Do you live by these values in your work life? Many of us compromise our values in our work life to achieve quick results and money. When it comes to living by the values in work, we do not think about scarifying the values to reach targets and achieve quick growth. are you also doing the same?

How many of us do not lie? How many of us behave carelessly towards others/ how many of us cheat others for small gains? We are ready to sacrifice most of our values to reach our material goals. We justify all our actions. But this gives us dissatisfaction. we are not happy because we do not feel accomplished by getting success in this way. This dissatisfaction affects our relationship.

Slowly we also begin to compromise on our values with our partner. In love, we say- I will care for you. In love we promise total faithfulness. In love, we promise that we will sacrifice our comfort to make our beloved comfortable. In love we promise many things including never hurting our darling. When it comes to living by these values, we break most of them. We bring down our love to a give and take and justify our wrong actions with every possible argument. As that becomes apparent to our partner, they object to that and friction begins. This friction may lead to break- up. The essential factor is to live by values in all areas of our life. Once we do that we get happiness and confidence. Our relationship thrives because of that.

Many of us have had a broken heart and hurt feeling because the relationship that we had didn’t work out. It’s ok, we are not made to be a perfect human being but we can learn from our experience and move on toward our future. We make mistakes, we learn and we move on. You can’t do anything about your past, it is over, but you can do something about your future by what you do today!

Please keep these principals in mind the next time you start a new relationship with somebody new! These principals will work most of the time and you will see the difference in your current relationship and future relationship if you don’t have anybody right now, listen.

Principal number 1, you must forget the past! Especially your past ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, and so on! I have seen this happening over and over again. How a boyfriend talks about his ex-girlfriends every day to his new girlfriend! He keeps discussing about his past with his new girlfriend. Let get this straight and let me be firm for a moment, listen to this, “You can’t drive and go forward very fast when you keep looking at the rear-view mirror!” Stop it, quit talking about your past, it’s done, it’s finished, and you can’t do anything to bring it back! It’s done! It’s over! The current person who is with you is now more important than the ones in the past! If you’re still holding on to the past, I suggest that you are not qualified to have a new relationship! If you can’t respect the person who is being with you today, you’re not qualified to be in a relationship with him or her! Instead, talk about your future plan together with the person whom you’re being with. Talk about your dreams and goals with him/her together. What you would do together in the future and so on. The future is more exciting than the past, because you still have the chance to get in by what you do today!

Principal number 2, you must learn to forgive! Forgive, forgive, forgive and forgive! None of us are perfect in this world. None of us and every time when we drive on the freeway, sometimes we too make mistakes and we hope that other drivers to forgive our stupidity. I talked to a friend of mine who broke up with her boyfriend. She told me “I had given him 3 chances, to put the toilet paper at the right position, but its strike 3, it’s over man!” The man was very nice, but apparently he likes to face the tip of the toilet paper facing the wall. That really irritated her. Plus he didn’t like to eat what she likes to eat. Somebody asked me this question, “How about if he is very abusive and not loyal?” My answer was “If someone loves you and respect you, he will never abuse you and be disloyal!” The fact that he is abusive, rude, disloyal and disrespectful; it’s the sign that there is no love for you in his heart! To love somebody is to build someone up, support, respect, be loyal, and honor and cherish the other person. Learn to forgive the little things in life, because the little things are the ones that usually get into people. Learn to talk to each other without blaming attitude. No body likes to be blamed or condemned. Learn to say thing with kindness, patient and loving attitude. A kind word is an unkind word unsaid.

Principal number 3, you must have honesty and integrity in your relationship with him or her. There shouldn’t be any relationship that is based on lies and dishonestly. Sooner or later what you’ve been covering will be revealed. There is nothing more irritating than when you find somebody is lying to you. It hurts you, you feel betrayed and it destroys all the trust you have for the other person. The proof of love is pursuit, also the ability to respect the trust that the other person is giving to us. If you can’t trust a person, I don’t think, you should have any romantic relationship with him/her. Trust is gained through time, it is like putting a coin in the piggy bank, when you do something that will increases the trust that someone has for you, you add another coin to the bank, and when you do something dishonest and break the trust that someone has for you, you withdraw the coin out of your bank. If you keep withdrawing it, soon you won’t have any coin left. You won’t have anybody trusting you! Once you gain the trust that is given to you by the other person, try to keep it sacred and never ever take it for granted. If someone thinks that he/she can get away with cheating, that person is a foolish person.

I hope this helps. I wish you the best in your current relationship and to find the right person for your life. Remember this, a good communication and true love is like a treasure in every relationship. True love casts away fear, therefore when we feel secured and safe with the person that you’re with, you will have a long lasting relationship. “The right words said in the wrong time will become the wrong words.”

You can also download the latest podcasts at Joyce Meyer’s website. Kindly go to: www.joycemeyer.org

There are a lot of blessings that come from following Christ. But the truth is He requires each of us to do our part. Find out what that means today!

#3 Viewers’ Choice- Taught in Greenvile, South Carolina : I loved this message and I thot u might like to watch it too…

Joyce Meyer – You’ve Got What It Takes I (1)

Long-term relationships and marriages can sometimes be taken too much for granted. The initial spark and excitement fades with time and partners can be left wondering if they still belong together. We all need to work on keeping our relationships together.

Tips for Lasting Relationships

Time for each other : Partners need to value the time they spend together and create more opportunities to be alone. This is especially true when they have children and jobs which keep them busy.

Appreciation : Your partner did not have to stick by you for all this time, but he/ she did. Show appreciation for being accepted as imperfect as you are. This is one investment that you’ll get back. You sow appreciation to reap appreciation.

Loving and Saying it : Never get tired of saying “I love you” and demonstrating it. People don’t just know they are loved, they need to be assured. If your partner loves flowers, get flowers once in a while.

Problems : Deal with problems together as soon as they surface. Its not constructive to keep the problems to oneself and unpacking them all when there is a serious conflict.

Criticism : Carefully give criticism in a manner that is reassuring of love.

Accept Correction : When your partner gives you positive criticism, don’t be defensive and angry over it. Listen and think about it before you give your opinion. Accepting correction is a sign of wisdom and maturity.

Encouraging : Contribute to each other’s lives by giving each other ideas and showing interest in each other’s careers. Be generous on your support and opinions whilst you are being honest.

Stay ONLY if it Works : Only stay in a relationship that works. Never stay in a relationship where you are abused and not respected. A relationship is a partnership with partners who treat each other equally and with love and respect.

Relationships, whether dating or married, are hard work. Things do not always go perfectly, fighting does occur, and it takes a 100% commitment from both parties to make it a success. Often when people break off a relationship, they feel as though something is missing. The “spark” is gone, leaving one or both people feeling inadequate and unfulfilled.

There are hundreds of things you can do to better your relationship and rekindle that “spark” which had once grown to a full-blown flame but has now faded to a dying ember. To help you get started in the right direction, here are five ways to build, strengthen, enhance, relight the fire and rekindle the romance in your relationship.

Remember, little steps taken every day will add up to big success!

1. The Power of Touch

Playing with your mate’s hair, rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you. Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of curiosity the first time. A simple, loving touch can pull a relationship through a crisis.

2. Don’t Be So Predictable

If asking couples the factors involved in the demise of their relationship, one the common responses is that everything in the relationship is so predictable. When rebuilding a relationship, do not be afraid of letting go of boredom. Take some chances and do the unexpected.

3. A Night of Passion

Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy. Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. When relationships are troubled, the last thing either person wants is to be sexual or passionate with each other. This is an important part of the healing and rebuilding of the relationship and although it might be awkward in the beginning, it is crucial. Make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a warm bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine, or reserve a nice romantic evening at a local hotel to include a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine wine and a beautiful room.

4. Happy Birthday

As people grow older, in general, birthdays become less celebrated. Gifts are quickly given, if at all, meals eaten and it is over. For your mate’s next birthday, take some time to plan something very special. Make this a true celebration of their life as a way of showing your love and affection.

5. That Kiss

As couples become comfortable with each other, kisses can become lame. Get rid of the pecks and get serious with the kisses. You will find that as you pay attention to your kissing and let your mate know that you enjoy kissing them, you will both feel better about your relationship.

As you can see, relationships take work! However, with the right attitude, a lot of hard work, and some unique ideas on how to make it successful, couples can have a strong, lifelong relationship.

10. Lighten Up

Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship, things tend to get serious. It could be that there is a tremendous amount of tension or perhaps they are not sure what to say. Regardless of the reason, learn to lighten up. Do not take every comment, glance, or movement as a serious problem. If your mate makes a mistake, which you both will, let it go, or if appropriate, laugh about it. If you make a mistake, do not be afraid to poke fun at yourself. This will automatically start the process of tension breaking.

11. Communicate

When couples are having problems in a relationship, communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad. When rebuilding relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty much throw caution to the wind. Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk. Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen, really listen. That does not mean that you will agree with everything, which is perfectly fine. However, if you do not agree, do not yell, rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much better, individually and as a couple.

12. A Night of Passion

Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy. Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. When relationships are troubled, the last thing either person wants is to be sexual or passionate with each other. However, this is a part of the healing and rebuilding of the relationship and although it might be awkward in the beginning, it is crucial. Make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a warm bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine, or reserve a nice romantic evening at a local hotel to include a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine wine, and a beautiful room.